BRISTOL THE PISTOL IS A SYMBOL OF SOMETHING MUCH BIGGER

           

I’m addicted to reality talent shows and am fascinated with Sarah Palin.  Hence, Sarah’s daughter Bristol’s stint on “Dancing with the Stars” held a particular interest for me.  Two days after the final show of the season, I’m still not sure what to think of the “teen activist’s” third-place finish on one of my favorite TV shows.

            First of all, she really wasn’t very good, although she was much, MUCH better than David Hasselhoff, Margaret Cho, and the Situation (who is an idiot, by the way).  Secondly, she did improve a great deal as the season progressed. Thirdly, I almost felt sorry for her at the end. Other than having a famous, polarizing mom and an jerk ex-boyfriend, she really has done nothing to deserve the abuse she ended up taking, other than quit her job as a receptionist for a much higher-profile gig as a contestant on America’s number one-rated show.

            A quick Google search shows that a lot of Americans cares very deeply about how well Alaska’s first daughter fared on DWTS.  Reactions to her success were often extreme:  a man ended up in jail after a police standoff which resulted from him shooting his television when Bristol beat Brandy to make the finals; Bristol received death threats on the set and even a envelope full of a “white, powdery substance” that looked a lot like anthrax.  Wow!  Those are some extreme reactions to a celebrity dance contest!

            So—why all this extreme reaction to such a seemingly innocuous television show?  The answer lies, of course, with the polarizing personality of the Mama Grizzly herself:  Sarah Palin.   ABC had no problem whatsoever showcasing Bristol’s mom every chance they had.  As a matter of fact, I’m pretty sure Sarah did more actual talking on the show than Bristol, who appears quite shy. 

            Sarah’s amazing popularity and the activism of Tea Partiers were certainly the largest reasons behind Bristol’s success.  She had basically no fan base going into the show and she is a very timid dancer. The fans voted for her week after week because they like her mother—and perhaps because they wanted to send yet another message to America:  we’re conservatives, we’re proud, and we have POWER—get used to it!

            I just can’t help, but thinking that Bristol is a pawn in her mother’s ever-present quest for media attention.  As if “Sarah Palin’s Alaska” and her new book aren’t enough reason for her to be in the spotlight—she also sat right there in the front row most every week, rooting for her daughter—and looking quite fetching as she did so.

            Even little sister Willow jumped into the spotlight last week with her homophobic, profane rant on Facebook, where she used words like Faggot and the f-bomb with astounding ease.  Bristol joined in with some harsh language herself.  So much for America’s sweetheart, I guess.   Actually, I can’t say I blame Bristol or her sixteen-year-old sister for lashing back—things were getting pretty nasty and sometimes a girl’s gotta take a stand.  I’m not sure Facebook is the proper venue, but sisters stick together—even conservative, Alaskan sisters—and that’s a good thing.

            Once again, I find myself having a lot in common with the Palin clan. Occasional potty mouth:  check.  Habit of airing my dirty laundry on Facebook:  check.   Dedication to say or do whatever necessary to protect my family:  check. Need for the spotlight: check.  Not having a problem using my families’ accomplishments to get a little of that spotlight myself:  check (and have you met my amazing football-playing daughter Josie?).

            Too bad Sarah’s not a “Lib,” as my conservative friends call me.    If that were true, maybe I would have even voted for Bristol myself—even though she couldn’t dance very well.  Or maybe not.  Would I vote for someone that lacked talent just because I like them?  Let’s find out: someone out there there has to be a Democratic son or daughter that wants to compete on “Dancing with the Stars” and we’ll test my theory.  Wouldn’t it be fun to watch Chelsea Clinton shake her groove thing against, say, the Rock and Phyllis Diller—with Bill and Hillary sitting in the front row each night?  I’m tellin’ ya, ABC—that lineup would be a ratings success! Call me, let’s talk. 

It’s a ZOMBIE Christmas!

          Patrick, of late, has become obsessed with zombies.  Anything having to do with the undead holds a great fascination for my youngest child.  Apparently he is not the only person affected by this obsession.  A quick Google search finds 24,000,000 hits for “zombies.”

            Zombies where first made famous by George Romer's “Night of the Living Dead” back in 1965.  I remember one Halloween when I was at Coe.  I was waiting for a friend to pick me up for a party and decided to fritter away the time watching this film.  BAD IDEA.  I had to have aforementioned friend sleep on my couch for a week after, as I was too petrified of the living dead to sleep alone.   

            A more recent addition to zombie literature is the new AMC series “The Walking Dead.”   According to the official website, this series is based on the comic book by Robert Kirkman and tells the story of life following a zombie apocalypse.   Patrick has turned the watching of this show into his weekly “date night” with Mom.  Every Sunday at nine will find he and I snuggled on the couch, drinking cocoa and watching zombies try to catch humans and eat them.    We have a surprisingly good time at this; even I’ve begun to care for the fate of county sheriff Rick Grimes and his family in the wake of the unspeakable.
            I went to the “Walking Dead” web site and took a quiz to see what type of survivor I would be in case of a zombie attack.  According to this site, I’d be one “tough chick,” defending my kiddos at all cost from the scourge of the undead.  Cool.

            Patrick and Cody are both reading a book entitled “A Zombie Survival Guide” and I bought a hilarious parody of Jane Austen entitled “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.”  I tell ya, this zombie thing is taking over my entire house.

            Cody has a pretty detailed theory regarding zombie symbolism that he has actually talked his English teacher into writing into this year’s choral reading.    There is a zombie fan page on Facebook.  Daniel Drezner has written a treatise called “Theory of International Politics and Zombies.”  Zombies, zombies—they’re everywhere!

            We recently watched “Dawn of the Dead” while driving home from the Breitsprecher Christmas in Independence.  Well—Dean was driving; the rest of us were in the back watching.    Then we had a spirited family discussion regarding the safest place to hide during a zombie attack.  We finally agreed on a maximum-security prison as the ideal hideaway:  very secure, lots of weapons available, and weightlifting equipment for entertainment and exercise made it the perfect place.    I kept trying to talk the kids into hiding in a shoe store—but they didn’t think that would be very practical. It was really fun riding home from Indee, looking at the Christmas lights and discussing zombies as a family.  

            When I was younger and dreamed of the perfect Christmas with my children, I never imagined spending it watching the undead overtake Atlanta.    I imagined something more idyllic and less bloody.  But, you know, cuddled up under my leopard snuggie with Patrick is even better than the enjoying the Christmas lights in a one-horse open sleigh fantasy of my childhood.  

            I guess we can add “enjoying horror movies” to the list of things I said I’d NEVER before I had children.  I hope each and every one of you is able to add a new Christmas tradition to your wheelhouse of traditions this holiday season like I was able to add to mine.  It may not be baking sugar cookies from scratch, but discussing the perfect place to hide when zombies rule the earth is a fine way to spend Christmas Day

Our Iowa article

ALGONA ARTIST PLAYS MICHELANGELO AT CENTURY FARM

            St. Peter’s Basilica in Rome has nothing on a century farm located only a few miles outside of Algona. As a matter of fact, Michelangelo himself might be impressed with the work of local artist and high school teacher Mark Haverkamp, who has been painting murals of rural scenes on the home of Mike and Roseanne Schmit for the past several years.  Yes—you read correctly:  ON the home. 

            Mike and Roseanne came across this unique artistic idea on one of their many trips to Europe.  Both the Schmits have roots deep in Luxembourg and Germany and have visited that area quite a few times since the early 1970’s.   On a visit to Oberammergau, Germany they saw many examples of this unique kind of art:  scenes literally painted on the sides of home.    Upon returning home, they commissioned local artist Dave Strickland to paint a scene on their double garage. 

            Since then, they have commissioned Haverkamp to paint five scenes on their house proper, with two more in the works.  According to the artist, “The couple likes scenes with the theme of Early American Farming.  I have been painting these scenes in a more-or-less progressive manner.  I started with scenes from the pioneer days and then added some from the 1920’s.  The last scene I painted for the Schmits was from the 1950’s era.

            “Mike provides photos and other ideas that conjure up memories of his childhood.  Some of these ideas have come from covers of magazines like Wallace’s Farmers and others have come from books.  I combine the ideas and work up a rough sketch.  We work from there,” she said.

            Mary started out painting the murals directly onto the house itself, but had trouble getting the paint to adhere.    “It didn’t stick too well because of the oil-based stain on the house,” she said. “Even though we tried to remove the stain, enough remained to cause a problem.”

            Another problem she encountered was how, exactly, to get up high enough to use her paintbrushes.  “I started with a stepladder and then Mike set me up some scaffolding.  The scaffolding was more secure, but I was still out in the weather, dealing with the bugs and the heat and the wind.  Finally we solved both problems by painting the scenes on thin sheets of plywood and then adhering them to the house after they were completed.  This has worked much better,” said Mary.

            It isn’t just the large murals of one-room schoolhouses and horse-drawn plows that make the Schmit farm unique.  The original homestead of the property, built in approximately 1857, has been restored and sits basically in the front yard of the main house.    The log cabin was built by Mike and Sarah Schmit, who emigrated to the New World from Luxembourg when land became scarce there.  “They basically had two choices:  move to France and work in the coal mines or come to the ‘New Country’.  They chose to emigrate in 1855,” said Mike.

             Mike and Sarah lived in the one-room cabin until 1886 and raised three children there.  “I imagine it was pretty crowded,” said Rose, “with three young children underfoot in that tiny cabin.  I think they probably spent a lot of time outside.”

            When Mike started farming the land at the tender age of 16, he had no idea the log cabin was even there.  The structure had been covered with siding and used in a variety of capacities.    After purchasing the property from his father’s estate when he was 21, Mike discovered the cabin and uncovered its fascinating history.

Today the 19’ x 20’ cabin, which was built with locally grown oak, is restored and decorated with old quilts and other antiques from a day gone by.  “I’m even using one of our wedding presents out there—at slightly over fifty years it isn’t exactly an antique, but it still has plenty of memories,” said Rose.

            Mike, the grandson of the original owner, and Rose have one daughter Denise and three grandchildren.   Denise used to have sleepovers with her girlfriends in the old cabin.  “One time they were scared in a thunderstorm, so I had to bring a cot out and sleep downstairs while they camped in the lot,” said Mike. 

            “When I moved into the old farmhouse as a newlywed, my sister-in-law told me to be patient, I’d ‘get a new house eventually.’  Little did I know that not only would I build a beautiful house in 1977, but I’d also play a part in uncovering and restoring an historic log cabin. I guess you could say I have two houses now.”

            Between the cabin and the beautiful, original murals of rural farm life from days gone by, the Schmit century.farm is a unique piece of property indeed.