Note to Self: Just because you CAN say or do something, doesn’t mean you SHOULD
“I may disagree with what you say, but I’ll defend to your death your right to say it.” The French philosopher Voltaire said this and I have always believed it. After the last council meeting, however, I have come to think that my mother’s old adage “If you can’t say something nice about someone, don’t say anything at all” may trump Voltaire’s. I’ve come to the conclusion that even though a person has the RIGHT to say something, they need to just shut their trap and keep their vitriol to themselves.
I have been meaning to write a comprehensive city council column for quite some time—you know, to summarize and analyze my four years on the council. I was just waiting for inspiration. It finally came to me as I left city hall in tears: we could have been the best city council in the history of man—and we ended up being more dysfunctional than the cast of Jersey Shore.
The five council members and the mayor are all talented in different areas. For example, I am a decent writer; Norm knows everything there is to know about water infrastructure; Paula knows real estate inside and out. We should have been able to change Dayton for the better. What happened? I think perhaps PETTINESS is to blame.
During the last four years, I have noticed more and more people doing and saying things simply because they CAN—not thinking of consequences or other people or the good of the community. They CAN make demands and phone calls and stupid insinuations—so they do.
Originally I had planned to list some of the petty behaviors I have dealt with in the last four years. I decided against this as I didn’t want everyone in town to be playing the “who is she talking about?” game. As tempted as I am to vent about specific individuals, I’m going to keep my comments very general. Let’s just say I’ve witnessed plenty of petty behavior on both sides of the council table. More often than I want to admit, when I’ve asked someone making what seems to be unreasonable demands “Why are you doing this?”, they responded “because I can.” Not “because it will make my life better” or “because it is the right thing to do”—but simply “because I can.”
This pettiness is not only evident at council meetings, but downtown as well. Any perceived insult results in people threatening to pull their business—hurting the insulter financially. What they don’t seem to realize (or perhaps they don’t care) is they don’t only hurt the person they thought insulted them, they hurt the entire community. For example, if the City were to pull its legals from the local paper, yes, that might teach the editor a lesson. However, that lesson might result in one of the state’s oldest newspapers shutting its doors and leaving Dayton without any local press.
Apparently it makes a certain type of person feel better to WIN—at anything. If they can bully someone into getting their way—than by gum, their gonna do it. They “win”—and everyone else loses.
I firmly believe that if we could just harness all this negative energy we could make Dayton a better place. Heck, if we could just stop the rabble rousing and gossip for one week and use the time saved to spruce up the city, it would make a major difference. Think of all the negative press Dayton has had in the past four years. Can you imagine how GREAT it would have been if this could have been positive press instead? Don’t you think that if Channel 5 or the Des Moines did a story about this awesome little town—this unsung jewel in the middle of the heartland—maybe that would attract a person or two to visit or even move here? Dayton has a bunch of beautiful houses for sale—and in this economy they are dirt cheap. Wouldn’t it be great if some new families would move into them—bringing new ideas and new energy—and paying property taxes to boot?
I have three more months on my council term and I am going to try mightily not to erupt like I did last night when the straw broke this camel’s back and the floodgates opened. (And—by the way, that’s called mixing metaphors.) When my term is over, I hope to find a way to use my skills to benefit the city I love so much—without the aggravation of monthly meetings that become screaming matches on an astoundingly regular basis.
There’s gotta be a better way, my friends. We can’t do too much about what people choose to say at meetings (although I do think the rules could be enforced more vigorously about citizen participation and general decorum), but we can vote for the candidates we feel have the best interest of DAYTON at heart—and aren’t just running to push through their petty agenda and make themselves feel important. I haven’t decided for whom I will vote this November. I am going to a little research first—and I urge you to do so as well. Let’s make sure the next council has four years of moving Dayton forward—not arguing over insignificant items and wasting everyone’s time.
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