VOTE NEWT!!

So much has happened in the past week in the presidential race, I don't even know where to start.  I guess the event that made me saddest was Rick Perry dropping out of the race.  Ironically, Rick dropped out the day after I wrote my last column, which was a scathing critique of his stand on the marine urination scandal. I really don't think it is a coincidence that immediately following the publication of my column, Perry withdrew, do you?    Still, Rick was the last true buffoon in the race and I'll miss mocking him every single day.

It is interesting that Rick Perry, with his strong Tea party credentials, chose to throw his support to Newt Gingrich, instead of the more logical choice of Rick Santorum. I would really like to know what Newt gave Perry in order to get that endorsement, right before the South Carolina primary.  Perhaps an expense account at Tiffany's??

It looks like the Republican nomination is down to Mitt Romney, who seems like a pretty decent guy, and Gingrich, who is (to paraphrase George Bush) a major league asshole.  I really wouldn't care about Newt's personal life or whether he asked his wife to join him in an open marriage IF (and it's a big if) he hadn't led the charge against Bill Clinton during the Monica Lewinski scandal.  A candidate's personal life is either fair game or it isn't--one way or the other--Mr. Former Speaker--you can't have it both ways.  If it is okay for you to bring Bill Clinton's personal life into the public view, it is the utmost hypocrisy for you to complain when people do the same to you.  You can't rant and rave and demand answers about the blue dress and then yell at a reporter who dares ask about your ex-wife's interview.  You just can't!   Well, apparently you can (because Newt did), but you really shouldn't.

Same thing with ethics;  a man who was kicked out of the House for ethics violations really shouldn't be questioning ANYONE'S ethics.  You know: the whole "people who live in glass houses" and "pot calling the kettle black" stuff.  If I were Mitt Romney, every time Newt brought up Bain Capital, I'd bring up the $300,000 fine levied on him by the House due to his ethics violations.  Mitt doesn't do this--probably because he's a decent guy--but he might have to in order to beat Gingrich.

 Newt's biggest problem is one never knows when he's gonna just lose it and go off.  He might scream at the reporter; he might call an opponent a liar; he might insinuate that Barack Obama is from Kenya--ya just never know.

And this is why I think all you Republicans out there in Republicanville should VOTE FOR NEWT!   Seriously, I would LOVE Newt to be the one to oppose Obama.  Why pick someone serious and normal--someone who can take the pressure and has a history of being reliable and thoughtful?  Pick the firecracker; the philanderer; the potential felon.  Pick the guy with the temper and the pinkie ring and the long, long history of blowing up and saying absolutely stupid things.  PLEASE????